I wasn't actually going to put this in blog form
This strange floating static part of my time
But many are asking how I am
what happened..
So I thought I would
I may remove it
Like I sometimes do the memories
I dont know...
maybe it will be cathartic
here it is
On January 18th 2012 at around 10.30am my friend and I were involved in a car accident
on the Calder Freeway
I was a front seat passenger
It was quite horrific
Obviously I survived
as did my friend ~ I wont speak for this dear friend of mine
That is her own story
but I will tell you mine
in part..
The 4WD lost control at high speed (within the speed limit)
and it flipped
and it rolled
quite a few times
I think I may have lost conciousness but I'm not sure
It's true how it happens in the movies
for me anyway
A long drawn out moment of silence
where all you can hear
is nothing
slow motion...
and a voice in your head
telling you
this is going to happen
right now
it's going over....
I place my hand hard against the roof above my head in anticipation of this fact
the thing that IS going to happen
So LOUD
metal and glass
against the hard road
I used to pay for a ride like this at carnivals...
How ridiculous such a big heavy car could roll across the road like a feather
the momentum taking it on some macabre dance
those inside forced to partake within
Thankyou thankyou thankyou for that piece of webbing across my chest
without you I would have died
The Seatbelt..
I do remember finding alertness and sprinkled in glass
sharp snow
Windscreen glass doesnt always shatter, it slivers too
that I know now
shards sticking in fingers
and my favourite sunglasses swinging mockingly from one ear
Wetness down my face
appeared to be some grazing to my forearm
much much worse underneath I later find out
lucky I couldn't see it from the top
My arm went out the window making contact with the road metal as the vehicle rolled
I'm glad I still have that arm, I'm quite fond of it..
You feel no pain at the time
its funny
how the body copes
I could open my door so I got out to find something I could use to stop the bleeding for my friend
Two plain clothes policeman told me to sit back down
So I did - I couldn't see what I looked like
but I supposed they knew best
Someone dialled triple 0
there were other cars behind
One even held a doctor who stayed till the ambulances arrived
Random strangers pressing jumper compresses to injuries
Blood...
I saw an ambulance coming down the ramp to the freeway
towards us
crikey they were quick
almost like they were waiting up there for something to happen
Predators waiting to do good
to save..
The roof was squashed further down on my friends side
Doors wouldnt open
Later I was told they had actually called out a helicopter to airlift us to hospital as the accident appeared so bad
I overheard them in my ambulance telling them to turn the helicopter back
I was happy to take the ambulance ride
answering continually
what day it was
did I know where I was
how many fingers was he holding up
what is my birth date..
A black eye an "egg" to my forehead a long ragged cut down the side of my brow
Apparently head trauma demands answers to these questions..
I wanted to hug this ambulance man with the blue eyes
he made me feel safe...
Neck brace to keep the spine straight muffles noises..
"you'll feel a bump as we take you out"
the wheels of the trolley do as they drop from the ambulance
and I am swooshed through the doors of
The Royal Melbourne Hospital
to view their ugly ceiling fixtures as I move down a corridor
Kindly parked in front of a row of random emergency department visitors
whilst admittance papers are quickly organised
I am on display to the public on a tin tray and a neck brace
My injuries are a bit too much for some of them
From the corner of my eye I see several rise and leave
Blurry outlines through the blood
I feel like apologising for upsetting them..
Moved into a room to stabilise in the emergency ward
My body has had enough of being brave
I shake uncontrolably
teeth chattering
I've gone into shock
My nice brand new top I bought for the trip
cut gently across the shoulders and down the side
my cut off jeans plastered in blood
nurses sweet and caring
teeth chattering
I feel horribly nauseous
I'm not allowed to move
Ahead of me were two surgeries..
I just didn't know it yet
This has been hard telling this story
its been one of those events that puts a line through your life travel;
splits it so you look in other directions
It's made me look at what I do and the people and things around me in a different way
Some good some not as good
this is a long road
maybe blogging about it will help
You can't make a blank white screen uncomfortable can you?
And recovery begins..
next step getting the use back of my arm :)
